i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
