Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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