One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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