It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
