Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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