Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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