Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
