apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
