i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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