Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize