I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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