C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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