oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
