i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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