Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize