True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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