how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
