Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
