Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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