batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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