i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I could make wine with my vomit
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
