I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
