I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
