As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"it" just moved
I should be sponsored by Trojan
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
