wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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