I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
