brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
