Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
