the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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