so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
