just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
