Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
