i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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