In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
