Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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