She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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