she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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