Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
