bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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