Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
