better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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