Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
