My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
