Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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