oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
