I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
