break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
