That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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