Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
