Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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