She is in my trunk
Sober January is a disaster.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
