Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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