Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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