ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
