Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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