life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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