I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
