Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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