hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
