Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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