It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
