I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
