Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
