The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
