I just saw a hot homeless man
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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