I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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