The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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