I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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